"Keep It Moving!"

I had a recent disagreement with a family member who told me to “just keep it moving.” In that moment, I thought, yes, I guess I should. There’s something innately positive about moving forward, especially when you’re moving forward from something messy or toxic. But as I continued to think about the argument, I became more and more uncomfortable with the idea of moving on. Have you ever thought that “keep it moving” or “moving forward” could be detrimental to your wellbeing? Over the past few days, I’ve thought about this very question. There are times when you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep it moving because if you don’t, you’ll continue to wallow in self-doubt, loneliness, and depression. In this case, moving forward and keeping it moving are necessary for your betterment. But what if the person telling or suggesting to you to “keep it moving” is the very one who caused you pain? What if the trauma you are trying to move on from was by their hand? But they refuse to acknowledge their part in your hurt. Then, is the request to keep it moving a problem? 

Yes, yes, I think it is. In this case, or at least in my situation with my family member, their request for me to keep it moving seems to stem more from their unwillingness to take ownership for their part in my pain, their ease with being able to sweep things under the rug, and act as though it never happened. The problem with going along with this request is that it is not good for my wellbeing. It’s not healthy for me to play pretend… to live in a fantasy world with them like all is well when it is not. I need to be in the real world with real people who can acknowledge when they’ve hurt me, make amends, and move forward. Then and only then can “keep it moving” work for me. 

So, the next time someone tells you to “keep it moving” or “move forward,” ask yourself if their motives are to help you truly move forward for your wellbeing or for you to move forward so they don’t have to deal with how they hurt you.

~ Dr. K